What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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