Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
