I feel great
I just peed on a car
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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