yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
