She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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