smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
