So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
