Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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