oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
