Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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