You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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