Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You work out of a Hotel?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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