every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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Did I show you my penis last night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.