What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.