I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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