Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe