PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tell her she can't have a vagina
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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