How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
