if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
