he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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