I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
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Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.