Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My dad just said "fuck circus"