He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea