So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As shirtless as possible
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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