im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
