No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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