I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
