never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize