Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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