I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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