What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
