A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
