mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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