why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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