You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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