Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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