did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
