people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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