Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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