He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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