OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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