Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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