Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
