So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
