ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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