Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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