I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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