if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize