Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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