I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
