what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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