i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
