watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
