you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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