Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
