I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
nutella sex= disaster
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
