Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
