I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
