Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
