so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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