Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
