News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
