I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In America we eat man semen.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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