That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
