literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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