is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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