I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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