they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
